THE GREAT BRAIN ROBBERY

The Japanese release of TGBR came with two additional tracks: 'Strong Guy' and 'Will You Still Care', taken from the We May Be Skinny & Wirey album.
Crocketts.net Release Info:
A noticable departure from prior Crocketts' releases...such a departure that it caught many of their fans off guard as the boys refined their raw 'We May Be Skinny and Wirey' nature and started to experiment a bit in the studio. Although not a concept album, there are definite themes that are carried throughout 'The Great Brain Robbery', most notably an anti-war, anti-macho, anti-vanity sort of thing. Davey's songs in TGBR are more serious and more thought-provoking (and proved to be a nice preamble for his book Unamazing Disgraces, which was published soon after the album's release). That's not to say that this is a heavy or wearisome album...the smashed-outta-yer-gourd insanity of 'On Something' (a track co-written by drummer Owen Cash) and the brashness of 'Lucifer' (with its memorable line 'Just because you blow me / You think you f*cking own me') show that the Crocketts still have a disorderly number or two up their sleeves. The main thing about TGBR is that it shows The Crocketts are, in a way, musically 'growing up' and the lads are building on their talents as musicians and writers.

UK CD Tracklisting:
1939 RETURNING
MRS PLAYING DEAD
HOST
CHICKEN VS MATCHO
ON SOMETHING
LUCIFER
SURVIVAL OF THE PRETTIEST
A PITY YOUTH DOESN'T LAST
ONE SHAKE
MILLION THINGS
ELLA LUCIANA
LADY KILLER
Japanese CD Tracklisting:
1939 RETURNING
MRS PLAYING DEAD
HOST
CHICKEN VS MATCHO
ON SOMETHING
LUCIFER
SURVIVAL OF THE PRETTIEST
A PITY YOUTH DOESN'T LAST
ONE SHAKE
MILLION THINGS
ELLA LUCIANA
LADY KILLER
WILL YOU STILL CARE
STRONG GUY


TGBR Front Cover

TGBR Rear Cover

TGBR Case Credits

TGBR Case Rear

TGBR CD


TGBR Lyrics 1

TGBR Lyrics 2

TGBR Lyrics 3

1939 RETURNING WELL I WAS WONDERING DO AS I CHOOSE OR FOLLOW THE ANCIENT CHIP OFF THE BLOCK WELL I WAS THINKING I'LL WEAR A ROSE THEN IN THE MORNING I'LL BE YOUR DOG PRESIDENT OF PRESIDENTS THE KILLERS HERE TO TAKE YOUR LIFE WE ARE NOT LEARNING 1939 RETURNING IF BRICKS WERE CIRCULAR THE WIND WOULD COME IN AND WE WOULD ALL FREEZE BUT I WOULD BE LAUGHING HUMANS OR ANIMALS WE DO AS WE PLEASE CONTROL IS THE CURRENCY THE VULTURES DISEASE NAKED SOLO RENEGADE THE BODIES OF OTHER ANIMALS WILL BE MY GRAVE NO WORDS CONSCIENCE CLOTHES OR NAME FLESH IN THE NATURAL CHAIN

MRS PLAYING DEAD IT'S NOT EVERY AFTERNOON THAT I WALK INTO A BAR AND I LOOK AT A WOMAN AND I KNOW I'M GOING TO LOVE HER ALL OF MY LIFE IT'S NOT EVERY EVENING I GO WEAK AT THE KNEES AND I GET BUTTERFLIES AND I KNOW I'M GOING TO LOVE HER ALL OF MY LIFE HEY MRS PLAYING DEAD I JUST SAW YOU MOVE YOUR HEAD THE SUN IS OUT THE SKY IS BLUE ROMANCE IS IN THE AIR I AM SO REDUCED I AM HANGING ON ALTHOUGH WHAT HUMAN THAT IS IN ME IS LEFT TO LIVE LIFE LIKE A RAT OFF OF YOUR WORDS AND THE EVER PRESENT VOICE HYPNOTIC AND SINGING ON THROUGH AND I AM DEAD TO YOU

HOST GOOD EVENING I AM YOUR HOST YOU ARE THE LUCKY ONE I CHOSE I HAVE SEEN BLOOD MANY TIMES BEFORE GOOD EVENING I AM YOUR HOST SEE THE LITTLE GIRL IN THE PAKING LOT SITS DOWN BY MY SIDE RUINS MY LIFE AND THEN SHE SMILES AS SHE SINGS WHEN WE WERE YOUNG YOU WERE THE ONE NOW WE ARE OLD YOU'RE OUT OF CONTROL GOOD EVENING I AM YOUR HOST JUST STICK YOUR COPPERS IN THE FLOAT I'LL WHISPER WORDS OF CAUSTIC CABARET AND THEN I'LL TAKE YOUR HEART AWAY

CHICKEN VS MACHO GOT MYSELF BLACK AND BLUE BANGING MY HEAD OFF A BRICK WALL WHAT AM I GONNA DO THROW IN THE TOWEL AND CRAWL FLAMING HOT BLOOD IS JUST AN EXCUSE FOR A WAR GOT MYSELF BLACK AND BLUE BUT I'M STILL DESPERATE FOR MORE NO AGGRO I'D RATHER BE CHICKEN THAN MATCHO I'D RATHER BE OBLIVIOUS THAN KNOW HOW GOT MYSELF BLACK AND BLUE DRAGGING MY FISTS FROM CHEEK TO CHEEK I'M A HOSTILE CREEP HARMONIES NOT UP MY STREET FLAMING HOT BLOOD IS JUST AN EXCUSE FOR A WAR GOT MYSELF BLACK AND BLUE BUT I'M STILL DESPERATE FOR MORE

ON SOMETHING ONLY ONE OF US LUCKY ENOUGH TO BE COLLAPSED IN THE CORNER LOOKING DOWN FROM UP ABOVE JUST THE KID WITH THE JUTTERING JAW AND A BILLION MILLION STUNNERS THAT HE SWORE THAT HE SAW ONLY ONE OF US CRAZY ENOUGH TO UNLEASH PREPOSTEROUS THEORIES ON THE ORIGINS OF FROGS WHILST ALSO PREPARING A PICNIC WITH ONE SANDWICH MISSING HE MUST BE HE GOTTA BE ON SOMETHING ONLY ONE OF US LOVES THE BLACK NIGHT KEEPS HIS CURTAINS SHUT THROUGHOUT THE STUPID DAYLIGHT JUST A KID WITH THE LONG END OF A STICK IMPERSONATING POPEYE FOR THE WHOLE WORLDS BENEFIT JUST THE ONE OF US CRAZY ENOUGH TO REJOICE IN HAVING THE BLUNT BLADE OF A LACERATING LAWNMOWER RUTHLESSLY ROTATE INSIDE HIS JELLY AND ICE-CREAM HEAD

LUCIFER SHE WAS THE LAST TO LEAVE THE MOTORCAR SHE WALKED SO TALL AND STRAIGHT THAT WE HELD PEACE TALKS IN A CAFE BEFORE I OPENED UP MY MOUTH SHE STROLLED AWAY I SAID JUST BECAUSE YOU PHONE ME THINK YOU FUCKING OWN ME JUST BECAUSE YOU'VE BLOWN ME THINK YOU FUCKING OWN ME LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT THE WORKINGS OF MY HEAD I LEFT TO BE A LOSER WHEN THE WOMAN SAID GO LUCIFER SO I GUESS YOU COULD SAY THIS IS THE END OF THIS BEAUTIFUL STORY OF OURS I'M ON THE AVENUE I'M IN THE STARS BUT SOON I WILL BE GONE MY FINGERS SINK DOWN INTO THE SAND

SURVIVAL OF THE PRETTIEST IT IS MY SAVING GRACE I BOW TO NO ONE EVEN ON DISMAL DAYS I NEVER MAKE HASTE TO JUDGE A BRAIN BY ITS FACE ROLL ME OVER KISS MY MOUTH I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I WAS DREAMING ABOUT SOMETIMES YOU HAVE JUST GOT TO LOSE TO WIN YESTERDAYS FROG WILL BE TOMORROWS PRINCE SURVIVAL OF THE PRETTIEST GIVE A WARM WELCOME TO TRUTH IT'S NOT WHAT'S INSIDE YOU ITS THE SURVIVAL OF THE PRETTIEST BUT EVERY FLOWER WITHERS AND DIES AND EVERYONE IS EQUAL IN TIME WE DECLINE WITHER AND DIE A TOAST FOR TEMPTATION MY EYES ARE OFTEN BLESSED BY THE BEAUTY OF BEAUTIFUL BODIES BUT THE FLESH IS JUST THE FIRST CHOICE FOR FALSIFIED FOOLS

A PITY YOUTH DOESN'T LAST THE ICE IS BEGGINING TO MELT AND I FEEL SO OBLIGED TO KEEP THE WINTER ALIVE BY RAINING FROM MY EYES SO SENILE I DESPAIR STICK MY TONGUE IN THE BLENDER LIFE IS GONE IN A FLASH A PITY YOUTH DOESN'T LAST LET THE YEARS WEIGH ON MY MIND MY ONLY CRIME IS MY FIGURE SLOWLY TURNING PEAR-SHAPED SLAM ON THE BLUBBER BRAKES MY TIME IS SPENT STOKING YOUTHS FIRE THE AFTERMATH I'M INSPIRED WOKE UP TOUNGUE TIED CREATURE COMFORTS EASY LIFE WORK HARD MOAN AND GROAN OVERBLOWN SILICONE GET WOOD GET LAID WIFE HOUSE KIDS CAR MICROWAVE AFTERSHAVE JUST FOR MEN 4AM FALL IN LOVE SECRETARY BLUEBERRY PERFUME IN THE ROOM WIFE KNOWS GUN BLOWS MANDATORY JACKANORY EASY LIFE SORRY STORY BALD HEAD WIDE ASS SINILE JERK OFF BIG BOOT BUTTERMOUTH BROWN TOUNGUE BUTCHER SEE YA LATER STIMULATOR HOPE ITS BRUTAL HOPE ITS SLOW DETERIORATE TERMINATE SUFFER SMOTHER SAVAGE SHUDDER DEAD DEATH BLEED BLOOD CHOP CUT SUCK SMUT YOUR DOWNFALL FISH BISCUIT JUST COULDN'T RESIST IT WIFE KNOWS GUN BLOWS FUNERAL GRASS GROWS DESERVEDLY DEMISE NO LONGER HARD AS NAILS MICKEY'S ROTTEN FLESH FORGOTTEN SEE LUCY FOR FUTHER DETAILS

ONE SHAKE NOTHING TO DO NO ONE TO HOLD BLESS MY SOUL I'M GROWING OLD ALL THESE YEARS WITH NOTHING TO SHOW SAT AT HOME WATCHING THE GRASS GROW HOLY MACARONI IT'S A LOAD OF BOLONI BUT I'M HISTORY 'CAUSE WE'RE HISTORY WHAT CAN I DO GOD ONLY KNOWS SAT AT HOME WATCHING THE GRASS GROW YOU ARE SO WEIRD AND WONDERFUL I AM SO CRAZY AND CARELESS GODDAMN I LOST MY WAY BUT THAT'S OKAY BECAUSE I'VE ONLY GOT TO SAY ONE SHAKE AND WE'RE FRIENDS AGAIN ONE KISS THERE'S A ROMANTIC TWIST AND LATER ON YOU NEVER KNOW THE FEELING MIGHT GROW IT COULD ESCALATE INTO SOMETHING DEVASTATINGLY DEBONAIR SINGING A SONG WHISTLE A TUNE IF YOU'LL BE THE BRIDE I'LL BE THE GROOM IS IT FOR REAL HELL I DON'T KNOW SAT AT HOME WATCHING THE GRASS GROW I'M STUCK IN MY ROOM MY LOONY COCOON WITH THE DOOM AND THE GLOOM AND THE DOOM AND THE GLOOM I'VE LOST MY GET UP AND GO SAT AT HOME WATCHING THE GRASS GROW SOUND THE VIOLINS I'M DESTITUTE ALL MY LIFE I'VE BEEN REBUKED HOW CAN I EVER LEAVE THIS LOW SAT AT HOME WATCHING THE GRASS GROW THIS IS THE START AND THAT WAS THE END I LIKE MY COUCH SO I'M ON THE MEND CONTINENTS CONQUERED WORLDS OVERTHROWN SAT AT HOME WATCHING THE GRASS GROW LATER ON YOU NEVER KNOW THE FEELING COULD CHANGE YOU CAN COME ON MY COUCH ROAST ON MY RANGE IF I TAKE REGULAR STROKES AND HANDLE WITH CARE IT COULD ESCALATE INTO SOMETHING DEVASTATINGLY DEBONAIR

MILLION THINGS WE'RE NOTHING SPECIAL IDENTICAL IMBECILES CALL AROUND ON A SUNDAY AND COP A FEEL WE'RE ALL CLONES BULLSHIT DOWN THE PHONE WANNA JOIN MY CULT AND KEEP MY POCKET FULL WHAT'S IN YOUR HEAD I THINK IT'S YOUR BIG BANG THEORY DON'T ASK ME NOW I'M STILL FAR TOO YOUNG TO FOLLOW YOU DON'T ASK ME NOW I'VE STILL GOT A MILLION THINGS TO DO FIRESIDE SECURITY LEGOLAND FAMILY SIX FEET SAVE ME FROM MY CRIMES TEENAGE TURBULANCE TRASHCAN TRAGEDIES THE WEEPING OF A WILLOW UNDER SKY WE ARE MARCHING LIKE PIGS TO THE MARKET OF FLESH WITH HUMPS ON OUR BACKS AND HAIR ON THE PALMS OF OUR HANDS

ELLA LUCIANA I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS YOU LOVE A LADY LOVE HER KISS YOU'RE JUST A HALFWIT YOU SAY THINGS WHICH ARE NOT HALF FUNNY SHE DOESN'T BELONG TO SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T HAVE MONEY ELLA LUCIANA LIVES SHE LIVES I SEE HER EVERYDAY SHE ALWAYS HURTS MY HEART MY HEART I KNOW HER MOTHER AND BROTHER AND FATHER AS WELL IF I DON'T GET HER I'LL KILL HER AND GO UP TO HELL YOU'RE A LEACHING OUTSIDER WHO THINKS THAT HE'S GOT HALF A CHANCE YOUR FLOWERS AND PHONE CALLS AND FOLLY DON'T JUSTIFY ROMANCE GRAVE SUFFER ME I AM YOUR SLAVE JUST A PROCESSION IF I CANT HAVE YOU I WATCH MY SANITY SLOWLY GO SOON WILL BE THE DEATH OF ELLA LUCIANA

LADY KILLER SHE'S WALKING DOWN THE ROAD I CAN SEE THROUGH THE CLOTHES BRUISES DECORATE THE SKIN IT WAS JUST THE OCCASIONAL PUNCH TO BEGIN INCAPABLE OF SPEECH CONSTANT GRINDING OF TEETH I WISH SHE COULD SAY SOMETHING IT WAS JUST THE OCCASIONAL PUNCH TO BEGIN MAN-BEAST HUMAN CHEAT THROAT FILLER LADY KILLER LAST NIGHT HE CUT HER HAIR AND STARED THROUGH WHISKEY EYES FINGERS THAT CANNOT BEHAVE A SHADOW OF A HUMAN SEARCHING FOR A GRAVE LAST NIGHT THE DOG DIED FOR BARKING WHEN THE FISTS WERE OUT FINGERS THAT CANNOT BEHAVE
If we don't remember the dEAD will rise again TO KICK Our FUCKING heads in FOR NOT REMEMBERING


All lyrics (p) & 2000 BLUE DOG RECORDS LTD/V2 MUSIC LTD.

Lyrics as they appear in The Great Brain Robbery album cover.